Musings of an aging hippie

So, we talk for weeks and weeks, come to certain, mutual conclusions and make a huge decision. First I announce it to family, knowing they will understand, then to friends and write about it on my blog. Without trying to be melodramatic, sigh...then it's back to life as usual. 
I still wake up with the birds, read a little, then get up to change the radio to channel 21 for "the other net (more on these guys later)," make coffee and take Buddi for her morning ablutions then climb, literally, back in bed to share a lazy early morning with the captain.  We sit up in our bunk with Buddi snuggled between us and listen to our early net guys rant and wait for the 8 o'clock net to hear the marine news and what's happening in La Paz.
Then on to today's project which includes rearranging nearly the entire contents of the boat while the captain installs wiring and hoses for Milagro's air conditioning. I still do the laundry, cook the meals, fill the water tanks and clean..when there is actually a space available to clean.
We still get together with fellow cruisers for dock parties and enjoy wine and cheese on the deck with a couple of friends who returned recently from the mainland.  But nothing is really the same.  This past weekend we spent some time with a very special couple who live in San Diego and visit their boat, White Cap, when they can.  As we enjoyed a great dinner at a new favorite place I thought that this will most likely be the last time I ever see them.  The captain will probably meet up with them somewhere in the South Pacific but the chances of my seeing them again are slim. There is a litany of places and people I will most likely never see again. And I will not see my friend, my partner, the person with whom I chose to spend my life, for a very long time. And that makes me sad.
Yet I will get to see "new" grandchildren and renew acquaintances with the ones growing up way too fast. I will revisit my children who are not children at all and learn to love them as adults and friends, as the truly astonishing and interesting human beings they have become. And I will take the opportunity to search for, as Curly said in the film "City Slickers," One thing. Just one thing. Stick with that and the rest of it don't mean____."

I believe my life is a gift to experience, and I want to be able to experience it on my terms and from my perspective. I will recycle even though people tell me it's a useless endeavor. I will again ascribe to the theory that if I couldn't kill it I won't eat it.  I will meditate and exercise and and practice yoga. I will practice what I preach, that we are all one and what I do for another I do for myself and what I do for myself I do for another. I will search for and find that "one thing" that can make this 4th quarter of my life something for which I can be proud.

It will be hard to leave these nightly beauties, too.